Male post natal depression

Post natal depression in women is a widely recognized illness, but a far lesser-known condition is male post natal depression. The main reason that this condition is lesser known is that as with many things men often find it difficult to talk about. Many men do not realize that they are suffering from the condition or that it even exists.

Studies have shown Post natal depression has been linked to an increase in depression in a large number of men. Male post natal depression sometimes occurs as a reaction when a man's female partner is suffering from post natal depression. Many men have said that coping with their partner’s depression leaves them feeling overwhelmed, isolated.

It is thought that male post natal depression has led to the break-up of many marriages. A number of relationships break-ups after the birth of a baby. But many couples are totally unaware that post natal depression is the cause or one of the causes of the breakdown of their relationship. Many, many women hide their post natal depression and they do it so well that their partners are not aware that they are suffering and are at a complete loss to understand the reason behind their mood swings.

It has been theorised that another possible reason for male post natal depression is that many men find it difficult to cope with the birth of a child. Having a baby and the new responsibilities that that brings can be very stressful, especially if the male has to work during the day and cope with the child at night.

One of the biggest issues for men when it comes to male post natal depression is a lack of support and understanding that men receive. There is a lot of help for women and there are many support groups, but there are very few places for a depressed father to turn. In addition to the lack of support there is the mans inability it talk about their feelings and to admit that there is a problem.

Symptoms include:

• Feelings of isolation and mood swings.
• Substance abuse
• Lethargy,
• Anxiety attacks,
• Loss of sex drive,
• Problems concentration
• Headaches
• Loss of appetite
• Stomach pains.

If you are suffering any of these feelings and they don’t seem to be improving then it is really important that they are taken seriously, and you should see your doctor. All the time people are recognizing male post natal depression and there is more support out there then ever before so if you think you may be suffering get help

Overveiw of PND

It can be both difficult and frustrating to live with someone who has PND. Perhaps the most important thing is to recognise that someone suffering from PND may need encouragement to seek help, and support to get it.

Help her to find someone to talk to in depth, and reassure her that she is not going mad and that she will get better. Make sure she knows that you will support her, and not abandon her.

Practical steps include helping her to get enough food, rest, and exercise. Try to ensure that she doesn’t spend much time alone to cope with the baby. A sense of isolation can be the most stressful aspect of mothering. Support the idea that she deserves to have a daily treat, and enable her to get it. Above all try to listern to how she feels and be patient.

Symptoms of Post natal depression

Often the presure of looking after a newborn means that the mother's focus is on the baby, and not on herself, and she may not pick up on warning signs of which she might otherwise have been aware. It is very common for women with PND to be very unwilling to acknowledge that something is wrong.

A women who is developing Post Natal Depression may initially have symptoms of anxiety and compulsive behavour so may not recognise her symptoms as 'Post Natal Depression' since depression is only one symptom of the illness

There are a number of warning signs which you can watch out for that may indicate that your partner is developing Post Natal Depression.

These are listed below:

• Problems sleeping, nightmares
• Negative and moody behaviur
• Palpitations
• Obsessive fears about the baby’s health or wellbeing,
• Panic attacks
• extreme fatigue
• bouts of crying over things which would not normally provoke such a reaction
• being short tempered or snappy
• headache, night sweats, stomach pains, blurred vision
• being hostile or indifferent to you or the people around her
• difficulty in concentrating or making decisions
  

Your partner may go through one or more of the experiences, although it’s extremely unlikely that she will go through all of them. If you think she has any of the warning signs try to encourage her to go and see you’re GP or other Medical Practitioner if only for reassurance. If she is developing Post Natal Depression, the quicker you receive treatment the faster you will recover.

Getting used to being a dad

Your a dad, congratulations!

When the excitement of the birth has died down, many couples find that it is all a bit of an anti-climax. In your partner this is as a result of a huge change in hormones levels, many women feel teary and down for several days even weeks. In men it usually manifests its self as feeling completely exhausted.

Just when you least feel like socialising, you've got to deal with all the friends and relatives who want to know what's happened and can't wait to see your new bundle of joy. Despite their well-meaning calls and visits, this is a time for you, mum and your baby to get use to each other. Try to be polite but firm with visitors it would be better to get the visits over as quickly as possible, so throw a little party and get it over in one hit. This will give you several weeks of peace so you can have quiet time to bond with your baby and catch up on the lost sleep. You can use their help though to catch up with all the things that you have let slip so don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Learning to cope with the demands of a newborn and adjusting to being new parents can seem a bit daunting. It is common to experience a short period of baby blues, but if this period continues it can develop into a more serious condition know as Post Natal Depression (PND). It affects around one in ten new mothers, the symptoms are similar to other forms of depression. It can also affect you, you need to talk about your feelings together, as often as you can you will both benefit and you'll both be aware of any negative emotions that could be a sign of needing help.

Positons for sex

Many people tend to prefer the missionary position for sex during pregnancy, it becomes a very difficult manoeuvre to perform as the abdomen gets larger.

So try some of these positions:

• Woman on top. This allows you to control the depth of penetration, and the majority of the movement. You can go as fast or as slow as you'd like, while controlling the depth of the penis. This position works really well throughout pregnancy and at the very end of pregnancy.
  


• Spooning. This position gets it's name from the way spoons fit together in the drawer. Usually it's best if the man is behind allowing his penis to go between your thighs and enter you from behind. This creates no pressure on the abdomen, and allows for a shallow penetration. Many women find this a very relaxing position for sex during pregnancy, and it can be used throughout.


• 
  Hands & Knees. This is a very good position for pregnant women again because of the lack of direct pressure on the abdomen, although as your get larger your belly may actually rest on the bed. Some women find this difficult at the very end of pregnancy, depending on how high they are able to hold their belly off the bed and still allow for penetration.
  


• Side lying, Lay on your side with your partner facing you, try pulling one leg up to allow room for your partner. This can get tiring after a while, and may not be easy for the last part of pregnancy.

All of the above mentioned positions also allow for manual stimulation of the clitoris either by you or your partner. . They also prevent the mother from laying on her back, which is not recommended after the fourth month of pregnancy. When you're trying to think of a good position, try it, if it doesn't work stop. Creativity will be a lot of fun during pregnancy, and it will probably carry over into your postpartum sex life as well, when creativity becomes important in a different way.

Above all communicate with your partner and be respectful of their changing hormones and physical shape and most of all don’t be offended if she does not feel sexual this will pass.

FAQ about sex during pregnancy

Can sex harm my baby? the short answer is No, not directly. Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the foetus and surrounding fluid) and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection. Your penis does not come into contact with the foetus during sex.

Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or contractions? In most cases, low-risk pregnancies, the answer is no. The contractions that your partner may feel during and just after orgasm are entirely different from the contractions associated with labour. However, it is better to check with your healthcare provider to make sure that your partner’s pregnancy falls into the low-risk category. It is common for doctors to recommend that all women stop having sex during the final weeks of pregnancy, because semen contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions.

My partner doesn't want sex, is this normal? It is completely normal for you and your partner's desire for sex to increase or decrease during pregnancy. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant partners and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Some men experience decreased desire because of fears about the burdens of parenthood, or concerns about the wellbeing of both the mother and their unborn child. It is also difficult for some men to reconciling their partner’s identity as a sexual creature with their new emerging identity as a mother. Remember, that communication with your partner is the key, try to explain your fears and deal with them together.