During
One of the main things we worry about when our partner is pregnant is Sex, many men worry that they can hurt the baby. The good news is that sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy provided that your partner is not in a high risk group, ask a medical professional for advice or get your partner to if she falls into this category or are worried.
Of course, just because sex is safe during most pregnancy doesn't mean that your partner or you will necessarily want have it! Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy so don‘t feel rejected it is just hormones and often size, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable as their bodies get larger.
You need to communicate (we know its easier said than done) with your partner about your sexual relationship and try to understand the hormonal and physical change that she is going through that might make her feel less comfortable with sexual activities.
If you can it may help to talk about other ways to satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each other etc.
If you do have sex you also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable. In the later stages it is common for many women to lose their desire and motivation for sex late in the pregnancy, not only because of their size but also because they're preoccupied with the impending delivery and the excitement of becoming a new parent. Remember it is only nine months and thing should get back to normal soon after the birth.
Sex after birth
Your partners midwife will generally give your partner guidelines about sex after the birth of your child, this will depend on the type of birth that your partner has had. It is best to follow these guide lines and wait until it is safe to resume normal sex life.
It is also worth pointing out that it is possible that it may take your partner sometime before they feel ready to have sex, this is a subject that couples often don't discus but it is much better to talk about how you feel an allow your partner to express herself this can stop either of you from harbouring resentment. The good news is that in most cases couples do get their sex lives back it is not just as easy to find the time or the energy with a new baby, so try to make time for each other.
Tuesday, August 12
Thursday, August 7
How to help your partner at the birth
Do as you are told is the short and simple answer!!
In all seriousness it’s true, the best way that any potential father can help is to do as he asked whether by medical professionals or by his partner.
Most women will say how they want you to help and if they don't, ask what you can do but don‘t keep asking you will be told to shut up in no uncertain terms. Some women sail through the labour and in their second or third it is often quicker and easier but remember that even the mildest mannered women can be aggressive and in some cases down right nasty during their labour and this is normal.
You must remember that even though this is a totally natural process all women are scared (no matter what they say) and often in a lot of pain, try to be patient and not to take any comments to heart. It is particularly important if something is going wrong during the birth to reassure you partner that everything will be ok and it will soon be over you may get a sharp response but it is best to try.
So if you choose to be there then try to stay as calm and as reassuring as you can possible be oh and if you pass out you will hear it over and over again so if you feel faint it is usually to do with the fact that it is very hot in the delivery room (honest! Not that you are scared and excited no defiantly not ), then get a drink of water or step outside for a minute but try not to miss the actual birth doing that would be as bad as passing out.
In all seriousness it’s true, the best way that any potential father can help is to do as he asked whether by medical professionals or by his partner.
Most women will say how they want you to help and if they don't, ask what you can do but don‘t keep asking you will be told to shut up in no uncertain terms. Some women sail through the labour and in their second or third it is often quicker and easier but remember that even the mildest mannered women can be aggressive and in some cases down right nasty during their labour and this is normal.
You must remember that even though this is a totally natural process all women are scared (no matter what they say) and often in a lot of pain, try to be patient and not to take any comments to heart. It is particularly important if something is going wrong during the birth to reassure you partner that everything will be ok and it will soon be over you may get a sharp response but it is best to try.
So if you choose to be there then try to stay as calm and as reassuring as you can possible be oh and if you pass out you will hear it over and over again so if you feel faint it is usually to do with the fact that it is very hot in the delivery room (honest! Not that you are scared and excited no defiantly not ), then get a drink of water or step outside for a minute but try not to miss the actual birth doing that would be as bad as passing out.
Saturday, August 2
What to expect at the birth of your child
Screaming, yelling, swearing you beautiful partner to turn into something from the exorcist, well in some cases we can't lie that is true. The plain fact is that it is difficult to tell you what to expect as all births are different, all men are different some choose not to be present at all and wait at a safe distance as most of their fathers did, others choose to be present but to stay at their partners head and not to look at the emerging child, others choose to be fully involved and watch the baby emerge and sometimes a more recent occurrence is for fathers to video the whole birth.(not sure who would want to watch it, maybe there will be a spate of wine cheese blood and birth parties).
If you choose to attend the birth as over 70% of men do it can be difficult to watch a person that you love in so much discomfort and your natural instinct is to try to fix it but there is nothing you can do other than watch and try to be as reassuring as you can possibly be. In some cases the partner is not allowed to be present at the birth at all this is rare but is for medical reasons and can't be helped. The decision of what to do is completely down to personal preference and it is a choice that is best discussed before the event.
Whatever level of involvement you have it is a tense time and highly emotional for all concerned so be prepared to feel scared, tearful and then elated when it is all over. It is an amazing feeling to become a Dad and when all is said and done no matter what you decided the result will be the same, at the end of it all you will be handed a baby and you will be responsible for them, your world will change for ever.
If you choose to attend the birth as over 70% of men do it can be difficult to watch a person that you love in so much discomfort and your natural instinct is to try to fix it but there is nothing you can do other than watch and try to be as reassuring as you can possibly be. In some cases the partner is not allowed to be present at the birth at all this is rare but is for medical reasons and can't be helped. The decision of what to do is completely down to personal preference and it is a choice that is best discussed before the event.
Whatever level of involvement you have it is a tense time and highly emotional for all concerned so be prepared to feel scared, tearful and then elated when it is all over. It is an amazing feeling to become a Dad and when all is said and done no matter what you decided the result will be the same, at the end of it all you will be handed a baby and you will be responsible for them, your world will change for ever.
Sunday, July 27
Stages of Labour
Here are the plain facts about the stages of labour just in case you are interested in what is actually happening instead of just standing there looking like a rabbit in a headlight.
Stage 1
The first stage of labour is called cervical dilation. It is the longest period of labour and it can last any where from a few hours to a day. During this stage the woman’s cervix will dilate to around 10cm.
Stage 2
The second stage of labour is where the baby begins to be pushed down the birth canal with each contraction. At this stage the contractions can be very painful and last around sixty seconds with a gap of around 2-3 minutes this part of the labour usually takes around two hours but times vary. At the end of this stage the baby will be born.
Stage 3
The third stage is the delivery of the placenta which has nourished the baby during pregnancy, many people do things with the placenta, eat them freeze them and that is up to the individual. It could be said that there is a fourth stage that is often discounted this is where the mother is checked for tears and repair them, this is where the mother comes to terms with the new situation the joy of a new life and the relief that it is all over.
You are a Dad!
Stage 1
The first stage of labour is called cervical dilation. It is the longest period of labour and it can last any where from a few hours to a day. During this stage the woman’s cervix will dilate to around 10cm.
Stage 2
The second stage of labour is where the baby begins to be pushed down the birth canal with each contraction. At this stage the contractions can be very painful and last around sixty seconds with a gap of around 2-3 minutes this part of the labour usually takes around two hours but times vary. At the end of this stage the baby will be born.
Stage 3
The third stage is the delivery of the placenta which has nourished the baby during pregnancy, many people do things with the placenta, eat them freeze them and that is up to the individual. It could be said that there is a fourth stage that is often discounted this is where the mother is checked for tears and repair them, this is where the mother comes to terms with the new situation the joy of a new life and the relief that it is all over.
You are a Dad!
Tuesday, July 22
Toxplasmosis - cat poo can kill
A quick warning about toxoplasmosis, this is a common infection caused by a parasite found in cats' faeces, soil, raw or uncooked meats and unpasteurized 'green top' milk. It can affect both animals and humans, and can harm unborn babies. This means that your partner can not clear up the cat litter tray, so it is one thing you can do to help and try to make sure that if you are cooking a meal (something we would advise you to do) make sure that meat is cooked throughly and that you clean the surfaces up with antibacterial spray after you use them!
Thursday, July 17
Planning the the birth
Sound straight forward but it is a good idea to do a little bit of research about where the baby will be born, this is an important decision and it is one that should be discussed between yourselves and a qualified medical professional.
Most new mothers are advised to have their first child in a hospital or birthing centre this is purely precautionary in case there are any complications, all mothers with high risk pregnancy’s will be strongly advised to give birth in hospital many of which will have a caesarean.
It is a good idea to go to the maternity hospital and see what they offer, they can vary enormously so it is worth taking the tour of several before deciding where you want to give birth.
Most women have all their children in hospital this was not always the case and some choose to have a home birth. Providing there are no complications in the pregnancy this is fine if done with medical agreement and with the help of a qualified midwife.
Believe it or not some choose to have a communal birth so that their friends and family and other siblings can be present at the birth and can share in the experience, this isn't for everyone, most woman want the minimum of people around them when the are in labour, but everyone is different.
Speed dial
It may also be the case that your partner has been advised or chosen to have a caesarean, in this case the date and time will be known and it is easier to plan for. If the woman has chosen to have her baby at home the midwives will be on stand by as the due date approaches, it will be a case of getting someone to contact them when your partner goes into labour, speed dial comes in handy here.
Planning the route
If your partner is having your baby in hospital then obviously you need to plan the route, it is worth driving it a few times just so you are sure where you will have to go and where you will park, it will help reduce the panic on the day and save you having to dive there like a racing driver. As the due date approaches it is also a good idea to make sure the car is top up with petrol its only exciting in movies for babies to be born in the back o cars, you would never be allowed to forget it if you were to run out of petrol. If you are going to use a taxi to get to hospital put the number on speed dial and try to call them as soon as the contractions start it may take time to get them to you, if all else fails call an ambulance. Many expectant fathers end up carry out these procedures more than once as some woman suffer from Braxton Hicks contractions, this is where the body is preparing for labour and the contraction feel real but the woman is not in full blown labour it is always better to be checked out by a medical professional so it is worth treating this as if it were the real this. With just a little planning you can take a bit of stress out of the whole experience!!
Most new mothers are advised to have their first child in a hospital or birthing centre this is purely precautionary in case there are any complications, all mothers with high risk pregnancy’s will be strongly advised to give birth in hospital many of which will have a caesarean.
It is a good idea to go to the maternity hospital and see what they offer, they can vary enormously so it is worth taking the tour of several before deciding where you want to give birth.
Most women have all their children in hospital this was not always the case and some choose to have a home birth. Providing there are no complications in the pregnancy this is fine if done with medical agreement and with the help of a qualified midwife.
Believe it or not some choose to have a communal birth so that their friends and family and other siblings can be present at the birth and can share in the experience, this isn't for everyone, most woman want the minimum of people around them when the are in labour, but everyone is different.
Speed dial
It may also be the case that your partner has been advised or chosen to have a caesarean, in this case the date and time will be known and it is easier to plan for. If the woman has chosen to have her baby at home the midwives will be on stand by as the due date approaches, it will be a case of getting someone to contact them when your partner goes into labour, speed dial comes in handy here.
Planning the route
If your partner is having your baby in hospital then obviously you need to plan the route, it is worth driving it a few times just so you are sure where you will have to go and where you will park, it will help reduce the panic on the day and save you having to dive there like a racing driver. As the due date approaches it is also a good idea to make sure the car is top up with petrol its only exciting in movies for babies to be born in the back o cars, you would never be allowed to forget it if you were to run out of petrol. If you are going to use a taxi to get to hospital put the number on speed dial and try to call them as soon as the contractions start it may take time to get them to you, if all else fails call an ambulance. Many expectant fathers end up carry out these procedures more than once as some woman suffer from Braxton Hicks contractions, this is where the body is preparing for labour and the contraction feel real but the woman is not in full blown labour it is always better to be checked out by a medical professional so it is worth treating this as if it were the real this. With just a little planning you can take a bit of stress out of the whole experience!!
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