Stages of Labour

Here are the plain facts about the stages of labour just in case you are interested in what is actually happening instead of just standing there looking like a rabbit in a headlight.

Stage 1
The first stage of labour is called cervical dilation. It is the longest period of labour and it can last any where from a few hours to a day. During this stage the woman’s cervix will dilate to around 10cm.

Stage 2
The second stage of labour is where the baby begins to be pushed down the birth canal with each contraction. At this stage the contractions can be very painful and last around sixty seconds with a gap of around 2-3 minutes this part of the labour usually takes around two hours but times vary. At the end of this stage the baby will be born.

Stage 3
The third stage is the delivery of the placenta which has nourished the baby during pregnancy, many people do things with the placenta, eat them freeze them and that is up to the individual. It could be said that there is a fourth stage that is often discounted this is where the mother is checked for tears and repair them, this is where the mother comes to terms with the new situation the joy of a new life and the relief that it is all over.

You are a Dad!

Toxplasmosis - cat poo can kill

A quick warning about toxoplasmosis, this is a common infection caused by a parasite found in cats' faeces, soil, raw or uncooked meats and unpasteurized 'green top' milk. It can affect both animals and humans, and can harm unborn babies. This means that your partner can not clear up the cat litter tray, so it is one thing you can do to help and try to make sure that if you are cooking a meal (something we would advise you to do) make sure that meat is cooked throughly and that you clean the surfaces up with antibacterial spray after you use them!

Planning the the birth

Sound straight forward but it is a good idea to do a little bit of research about where the baby will be born, this is an important decision and it is one that should be discussed between yourselves and a qualified medical professional.


Most new mothers are advised to have their first child in a hospital or birthing centre this is purely precautionary in case there are any complications, all mothers with high risk pregnancy’s will be strongly advised to give birth in hospital many of which will have a caesarean.
It is a good idea to go to the maternity hospital and see what they offer, they can vary enormously so it is worth taking the tour of several before deciding where you want to give birth.


Most women have all their children in hospital this was not always the case and some choose to have a home birth. Providing there are no complications in the pregnancy this is fine if done with medical agreement and with the help of a qualified midwife.
Believe it or not some choose to have a communal birth so that their friends and family and other siblings can be present at the birth and can share in the experience, this isn't for everyone, most woman want the minimum of people around them when the are in labour, but everyone is different.


Speed dial
It may also be the case that your partner has been advised or chosen to have a caesarean, in this case the date and time will be known and it is easier to plan for. If the woman has chosen to have her baby at home the midwives will be on stand by as the due date approaches, it will be a case of getting someone to contact them when your partner goes into labour, speed dial comes in handy here.


Planning the route
If your partner is having your baby in hospital then obviously you need to plan the route, it is worth driving it a few times just so you are sure where you will have to go and where you will park, it will help reduce the panic on the day and save you having to dive there like a racing driver. As the due date approaches it is also a good idea to make sure the car is top up with petrol its only exciting in movies for babies to be born in the back o cars, you would never be allowed to forget it if you were to run out of petrol. If you are going to use a taxi to get to hospital put the number on speed dial and try to call them as soon as the contractions start it may take time to get them to you, if all else fails call an ambulance. Many expectant fathers end up carry out these procedures more than once as some woman suffer from Braxton Hicks contractions, this is where the body is preparing for labour and the contraction feel real but the woman is not in full blown labour it is always better to be checked out by a medical professional so it is worth treating this as if it were the real this. With just a little planning you can take a bit of stress out of the whole experience!!

Planning for the arrival of a baby

There are so many things to do before the baby arrives and this can feel very overwhelming the first time as it is likely that you will have very little knowledge about what its like to have a new addition to your home. You may have friends who have done in and it seems straight forward but they did not get to where they are without a bit of forward planning. This is the time to decide where the baby will live if you have to this is not the best time but if it is impossible to fit a child into your current home this is the time to move. If not and in most cases their is a way around it this is the time to choose the nursery, your partner will almost certainly have feelings about this so talk it over together and face the fact that you may have little to do with the decoration other than doing the actual work, painting, papering, building cots, etc. The upside of this is you can do something practical and you will feel the you are contributing in a small way. It is best to be methodical and sit down and make a list of everything that you will need. The list below may seem really obvious but it will help as a guide, its really easy to miss something basic like nappies!

Cot / Moses basket
Wardrobe/ drawers
Nursing chair
Baby Monitor
Pram/ pushchair
Nappies
Bottles/teats/Nipples
Steriliser
Clothes
Blankets
Car seat
Baby wipes
Bath
Bath products
Hairbrush
Nair clippers
Formula
Towels

This is a bare minimum, there is lots more but this will get the baby home and through the first few nights, it seems so much stuff for a tiny little person but its only the beginning at this stage you have time so you can save yourself a lot of cash and time going for shop to shop by ordering online. Try out these shops

How a man can help during pregnancy

It is worth realising that in the first few months your partner may not look any different but, her fluctuating hormones may be playing havoc with her emotions, you are the most likely target to bear the brunt of some major mood swings. Her moods may range from her being the happiest, most contented woman in the world with the most wonderful man in the world, and then minutes later she may be crying, yelling and everything you say and do gets on her nerves. Remember what ever mood she is in it will pass, it is best not to ask for an explanation (in most cases she really hasn't got one, asking may make thing worse) and it is best at these times to try not to feel hurt. Instead, try to be patient and support her, listen and do practical things to help, there are loads of simple things that you can do.

Try things like:

Running her a bath (some oils are not suitable for pregnant women check first.

Hoover the floor, dust, do the ironing, wash up, try to do some household chores you need to get used to doing them if you are not sharing them already, because once the child is born mums need help, at this point it will just make things easier for her and you

Making her a cup of tea, preferably herbal, many can be soothing but read the label some are not suitable during pregnancy

Cook a meal, it doesn’t have to be special it just has to be done by someone else

Learn as much as you can about what is good and bad in pregnant women, but don't lecture or scold her or you may get no thanks for the information

Show that you are taking an interest in her and GET INVOLVED, There's no need to stand on the sidelines during pregnancy. It's your baby, too and you can take an active part right from the start.

Try to make the hospital appointments, it helps to make her feel supported and you included, seeing your child moving on a scan is an amazing experience

Give her lots of reassurance about her attractiveness and your feelings for her, a woman’s self esteem can be very low during pregnancy, some woman bloom and lets face it others do not and they need to know that they are still the woman they once were.

Fundamentally be patient, supportive and try to find out as much as you can.

Foetal development

1st Trimester
By the end of this trimester, your baby is about three inches long and weighs about half an ounce. The eyes move closer together into their positions, and the ears also are in position. The liver is making bile, and the kidneys are secreting urine into the bladder. Even though your partner can't feel your baby move yet, your baby will move inside her in response to pushing on her abdomen.

2nd Trimester
By the 26th week, your baby will weigh about 1 ¾ pounds and be about 13 inches long. With this growth comes the development of your baby's features, including fingers, toes, eyelashes, and eyebrows. Around the fifth month, your partner might feel your baby move! By the end of this trimester, all of your baby's essential organs like the heart, lungs, and kidneys are formed.

3rd Trimester
Your baby is still growing and moving, but now has less room in your uterus. Because of this, your partner might not feel the kicks and movements as much as she did in the second trimester. Even before your baby is born he or she will be able to open and close his or her eyes and might even suck a thumb.

Playing music and talking to a baby in the womb

It is thought that babies in the womb can hear from around 20 wks, and most can recognise their mother’s voice once they are born. Some people believe that playing music to your baby in the womb can improve its intellect and speech development not really sure about that but it is a case of what ever floats your boat.

Many dads talk to their unborn child or sing to them, if you choose to try different kinds of music to see how your baby responds. Chart pop, jazz, R'n'B, reggae, anything you enjoy. Music that soothes you may not soothe your baby. When your baby is born you may find your baby calms down to music that you played to them in the womb. With that in mind try to be as patient as possible with you pregnant partner, your baby is listening.